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For the love of Self.

written March 1st, 2017

What do you completely and totally love about YOUR human being? After many years of suffering with low self esteem and self worth, I know how vitally important it is to have a loving and healthy relationship with myself. This is something most young girls and women have suffered with or still suffer with. Self Love IS the quintessential key to living a life you love and manifesting the desires of your heart. Nothing can truly form and stand on a solid foundation until the relationship you have with SELF has grown, matured, and transformed out of love, kindness, and tenderness from all your life's experiences. What I know now is that until I became completely and totally in love with my HUMAN BEING, I made choices trying to find someone, something, that could give me what I didn't truly have for myself. Love. Passion for life. Drive. True Desire... the list goes on. I thought all of those things and the experiences born from those things, were attached to another person. I thought I had to seek out these experiences instead of realizing these experiences are birthed from within myself. The foundation I was creating for a solid and beautiful life, that was fulfilling and able to withstand any turmoil or challenges was cracked and rocky. From this place, I made choices settling for the best I thought I could get, have, and deserved. I didn't know anything. (Beginning of wisdom, as my mother says) What I've always known was that my HEART was good. My intentions for life, love, and matter who you are, was utterly pure and good. Everything about me and around me could be a complete and total disaster but I had SOMETHING I could hold on to, my secret, that I learned to keep private and tucked away, safe from the rest of the world, the capacity my heart had to love just about anything. And that love...was freakin' HUGE!! Once I learned that not everyone had this going for them, due to my beautiful and yet disastrous, at times, run in's with other human beings, I became guarded and unwilling to share the love anymore. In turn, failing to give my heart the full experience of love from any source. After years of experiencing experiences from this low vibe, heart suffocating place, I got with God and went to work on healing from the things that broke me. Jesus, that was painful. However, by being broken open again, with the help of God, through the release of all past pain and heartache, I was able to begin forming a complete and total love affair with myself... creating a stable, steady, unshakeable foundation in my heart, mind, and soul. During this process, I wanted everyone to disappear, go away, leave me ALONE, until my work with self was complete. HA. For the first time in life, I learned to be HAPPY, content, fulfilled in the presence of Myself. But truth is I was never really alone. I was completely happy in the presence of myself, God, and my spirit squad. When I finally started to emerge from the depth of my healing, I was aware, alert, and ready to have true and authentic human experiences with others. This is what I encourage everyone who has settled for less than what they deserve... and if you have to question if what your experiencing in any situation is what you deserve so much more than that. The capacity to experience what we truly deserve isn't even known to us until experiences from our heart's truest desire start manifesting things we didn't even know was possible for us....(maybe other people, but clearly not me was my thought...until now.) Our new experiences create a domino effect of more experiences of true desire, thus, expanding on what we didn't even know was possible. (And DON'T sabotage it, thinking its too good to be true so it couldn't possibly be real or's not too good. It's exactly what you've been waiting for, want, and deserve...Thank God right!? About time.) :) To assist with Self Love... Focus on the ONE thing you KNOW without a fiber of doubt is Good about you. Pure. Your hidden secret that you've learned to keep safe and tucked away. Use it to give yourself the Love you deserve. Whether it be standing in a mirror loving on every part of your body, even if you don't, start...until you get its worthy of the love you have neglected it. Taking selfies of yourself and focusing on your AMAZING human vessel God blessed you with (because only YOU know that you've never felt as beautiful as what other people see.) Saying kind words to yourself, respecting your own mind and voice, that way no one else's unkind words to you will be tolerated. Whether its keeping note of the secret prayers you pray for others without them knowing. (as a few of my examples) Whatever is GOOD about you...start there....and when you come in to contact with others, interact from That place. We, HUMAN BEINGS, need to remember that we are innately GOOD before we closed ourselves off due to hard life experiences. I am very well aware that my soul and spirit is good...pure...a piece of God...but my human self.. that's completely different. That needed work :) That ego...that self worth of mine... phew. And yet, when I focused on the Goodness of my Human nature, that ONE thing I knew and now actively know again is GOOD, I live out the life of a human being that genuinely cares about other human beings and creating more and more experiences of strong, loving, and lasting relationships to all of life, myself, and others. BE Love. BE Beautiful.

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